#THERE IS NO WORD I ELVISH ENTISH OR THE TONGUES OF MAN

[swan2swan]

It’s good to know that I moved so far beyond Sleepy Hollow that I can’t feel upset by anything about it anymore. I know exactly where the blame belongs, and there’s no more surprises that can damage the parts of the show I loved.

Now to go check the articles--

--Me, three minutes ago, before I died

[dorsey-divine]

Ranking the Members of the Fellowship Based on How Much Cunt They Would Serve As Drag Queens

Let’s be real this is a race for second place- we all know who’s winning. With that said:

9.Boromir

This ranking pains me but I feel it’s appropriate. I physically cannot imagine him wearing makeup of any kind, let doing drag, so zero cunt can be served. He’s more of a free dad hugs at pride person than a drag queen. I can see him having painted nails, but that’s about it. 

8.Aragorn

Same story as Boromir but I can see him wearing like eyeliner or something so he’s higher on the list. He definitely goes to drag shows, but he doesn’t participate in the art.

7.Frodo Baggins

I feel like hobbits have drag shows occasionally and Frodo did it once and decided he didn’t like it.

6.Samwise Gamgee

Sam’s a little shy about actually preforming, but I think his makeup and costumes would be very well done. You know he has a lot of flower themed dresses.

5.Gimli

Dwarves do drag a lot, I take no criticism on this. Gimli did drag in his youth and served absolute cunt but hasn’t done it since.

4.Legolas

He’s glamorous, he’s got good balance, he’s a prince so he has money, this man serves cunt on the regular. He probably takes like four hours to get ready though.

3. Meriadoc Brandybuck

Was the one who got Frodo to do drag that one time. Puts almost no effort into anything. His drag is bad and that’s why it’s cunty.

2. Peregrin Took

He’s campy, his drag is as bad as Merry’s, they preform together and have absolutely broken a stage before.

1.Gandalf

First of all: Gandalf’s big naturals. Second of all: this man serves more cunt than the rest of the fellowship combined. There are not enough words in elvish, entish, or the tongues of men to describe Gandalf’s drag cunty-ness. His pussy pops and every performance is a fucking serve. All hail.